hello dear

she : What do you call a deer that cannot see?

me : A blind deer?

she : No.

me : A deeeeeeeer?

she : No.

me : What is it then?

she : No idea.

- I laughed -
0 Comments

numbers

me : What did zero said to eight?

her : I don't know.

me : Nice belt.

her : Wha.....

nice belt yo.
6 Comments

long time no see!

me : Hey, long time no see!

her : It's not that long. Didn't we saw each other few days back?

me : Really? Feels like forever to me. I missed you already.

her : Well, not me.

me : Ouch!
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filtered water

me : Why the waste of money on textbook?

him : Study, doh!

me : Textbooks are like unfiltered water, it contain a lot of minerals and even more impurities, this is why textbooks have a lot of useless information inside.
me : Where notes are like filtered water, it only contain minerals and no impurities, everything you need is inside. This is why I never buy textbooks.

him : But the notes are useless.

me : That is because the filtered is too damn good. It even filtered out some of the minerals.

Money spent on me is money well spent. money spent on textbooks is not.
1 Comments

找吃，找吃！ 做吃，做吃！

我： 我给钱你，不是要你站在那吃东西，是要你做工！

她： 他们说，找吃，找吃，一路找一路吃，所以才叫找吃。我也一样，一路做一路吃。我在吃着。

我： 你找我吃，所以才叫找吃。我在吃着，你快去做！

她： 扫把在拿来！我要扫你出去！

我老爸找，我吃，所以他们才叫找吃！你也一样！
4 Comments

honey

her : Your mouth is so sweet.

me : Why, thank you. As sweet as what, may I ask?

her : As sweet as honey.

me : If I'm the honey, then you must be the bee.

her : There you go again.

lol, sweeeeeet.
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adoption vs birth

me : It's better to have an adoption than to have your own kids.

him : What? Then you won't love your own kids, it's not your own flesh and blood.

me : Well, you're going to suffer when they don't listen to you.

him : That's part of parenting.

me : If I adopt, I can always say "you're not my real child, if you don't listen to me, I will throw you out". That will make them listen to me.

him : When you're old, they will say "you're not my real dad, if you don't listen to me, I will throw you out".

me : That is why we have EPF.

him : ...

what do you think?
5 Comments

till death do us part

her : Did you send it up yet?

me : What if I said no?

her : Do you want to die?

me : Well, to die by your hands and the last thing I see is you. Sure, I'd die happy.

her : You really should die.

I prefer to live though..
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water bottle

him : Those who keep answering the teacher's question in class is like a half empty water bottle. When you shake it, it makes alot of noise.

him : Those who don't answer the teacher's question is like a full water bottle. When you shake it, it makes no noise.

me : An empty water bottle makes no noise too, and that's you!

him : Same goes to you.

me : Oh?

An empty bottle refers to no knowledge at all, where a half empty bottle refers to half-knowing( know of a little but act like a know-it-all), full bottle is full of knowledge. Forgot to put this in.

Guess which bottle am I.

8 Comments

lady gaga

her : How do you wake lady Gaga up?

me : Uhh, by going gugu gaga?

her : Lol, no.

me : Then?

her : You pok-er, pok-er, pok-er face.

me : Lol.

Gotta love lame jokes!
2 Comments

pretty face

him : Are you free?

me : No.

him : What are you doing?

me : Helping her with her assignment?

him : Can't you say no? Why must you help?

me : How can I say no to a pretty face like hers?

him : ...

me : Don't tell her I said that.

I'm a sucker for girls. Screw my life.
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lock

her : Why do you turn off the engine everytime you pump petrol?

me : Just a habit.

her : Must you also lock the car doors even when I'm inside?

me : Yes, so I can have you all by myself. Others can't get to you.

Remember boys, turn off the engine and lock her inside the car when you pump petrol!
7 Comments